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Hope in Struggle with Addiction

Struggle Defined

Struggle is defined as “a forceful or violent effort to get free of restraint or resist attack” (Google Dictionary). Daily, we work with guys who are working to get free of the restraint of addiction. So often, the restraint of addiction or addictive behaviors feels like a never-ending cycle. While we know that parents and loved ones feel this way, we want to provide a different perspective – your son’s.

Oftentimes, what seems like the obviously wrong choice to others seems like the only choice to your son. We’ve heard guys say in session, “I knew it wasn’t the right decision, but it was the only thing that gave me some relief”.

Parents May Ask

“Well why didn’t he just tell us?”

Many times, our guys don’t even have the language to articulate all that they have felt and experienced when they first come to Capstone. Sometimes all they know is that they don’t feel adequate and that something is not right. Other times, they are crippled with fear of how their truth and experiences will be perceived.

“We didn’t raise him to be that way, so where did this come from?”

Sure, maybe you didn’t raise your son to make a series of poor/harmful behaviors or to struggle with addiction…but that’s not the only way that parents and loved ones impact their children. How has conflict resolution been demonstrated in your home? Are emotions safe to share? Are tears allowed? Have they been impacted by your own trauma? This is not to say that their struggle is your fault, but it is important to evaluate in what ways we contribute to the struggle.

“Well, how can we help?”

We encourage you to begin by listening. In our program, our guys work up to sharing their life story (trauma, disclosures, life history) with their parents during Family Week. We don’t do this until about halfway through our client’s stay for a reason – no one is ready for this conversation at the beginning. At admissions, parents are just catching their breath from being in crisis mode for the past several months, and oftentimes our clients are still in denial. Psychoeducation, detoxing, trauma work and empathy are prerequisites to disclosing trauma.

If you’re reading this, you’re likely no stranger to hardship, as it is a guaranteed part of life. We want you to know that there is hope – even in the struggle. We say this with confidence, as this month we celebrate 20 years of serving young men in the struggle. Not every story looks or ends the same, but in every story hope remains.